to the one you love
by absolutelyliv
Summary: they say if something is mean to be; it will be. But what determines what is meant to be? Austin and Ally struggle with separation and are left with the question 'Will I ever make it back to the one I love?" / Auslly / Rating may change
1. Prologue

_One-way flight from Pittsburg Airport to Fort Bragg, North Carolina._

No matter how many times he repeated the itinerary in his head, he still struggled to accept its conditions. When he enlisted a week prior, it had seemed like the perfect solution. Now, he was beginning to doubt his decision.

He took one last look around his room, marveling at how it had already begun to feel like a stranger's home. His parents had already begun to renovate the area, highly anticipating its conversion to an in-home gym. It was disconcerting, really, how little disappointment they had shown about his leaving.

"You're doing this for a reason," Austin mumbled to himself reassuringly. "There's nothing left for you here."

It was the truth.

School at Layton Bay had always been somewhat of a dilemma, what with the legal investigations and circulating rumors. His step-sibling relationship with Karen had grown considerably more toxic since he began taking a stand.

And Ally...

Well, Ally had made it very clear that she wanted nothing to do with him. She didn't trust him, and insisted that this impasse indicated the need for separation. He must have called and texted her a million times. He had even tried to stop by her house. But for some god-forsaken reason, she refused to speak to him. And truth be told, it tore his heart into a million pieces. She had been the first person he had truly trusted in his life; the one person who didn't view him as a terror, or a villain.

So much for _that_.

He absent-mindedly scrolled through his call log. It had been a few days since he had attempted to contact her. He was trying to make it a point to spread the calls fewer and farther between, so as to make a clean break for himself. He wanted to say good-bye more than anything...But it would only complicate things further. And he had the distinct feeling that he was the last person she'd want to see, anyway.

His finger hovered over the "call" button. He weighed his options.

And then he went for it.

One ring. Two rings.

"Hello?"

"Hey...Long time no talk," he muttered nervously. "I need to ask you a favor."

A pause on the other end. Then a resigned sigh. "Sure. Whatever you need."

"Can you meet me at the Apple Rose Grille? It's important."

Another short pause. "Yeah...now?"

"Now."

"I'll meet you there."

"Thanks...You're the best, M." He ended the call and finally exhaled, knowing what had to be done. He hastily gathered his things, deciding that the Grille would be his last stop on the way to the airport.

Traipsing down the stairs, he studied the pictures adorning the walls. They were mostly of his father and step-mother, even Karen; very few of his own were to be found. He internalized this as further affirmation of his decision.

He paused at the front door and took one last nostalgic look around the house. "This is it," he

muttered to himself. And with that, he was out the door.

* * *

"The army?" Mandy demanded in whisper, as though she had spoken a curse word. "What on earth possessed you to do this?"

"It's just...the right thing," Austin offered simply, feeling quite pathetic in his response. It was hard to articulate the instinct to anyone else. It was truly just a primitive drive.

Mandy sighed, her brow furrowed in confusion. "Have you talked to Ally?"

 _Slash_. Every time he heard her name, it was another lashing to his heart.

"No. Does she know you're here?" he inquired, tapping his fingers anxiously on his coffee mug.

"No, of course not," Mandy protested. "She'd kill me."

Austin smiled somberly, knowing this to be true.

"Well...do you plan on talking to her before you go?" Mandy inquired, craning her neck to get a closer look into his eyes.

Austin squared his jaw. "No. She doesn't want to see me."

"I think this would be an exception," Mandy insisted, her panic intensifying.

"It's not up for discussion, M," Austin declined politely. He fished inside his jacket for the item he knew to be tucked safely away within. He unveiled it and presented it to Mandy. "This is a letter I wrote for her. Make sure she gets it. Okay?"

Mandy studied it carefully. Without averting her eyes, she mumbled, "Maybe you should-"

"No," Austin interrupted, knowing what her suggestion was going to be. "This is the only way."

Mandy began chewing on her bottom lip, making a point to avoid his eyes.

"Austin...Seriously...There are things you should know before you do this...Talk to her."

"No," Austin repeated with finality. Frustrated with Mandy's resistance of the letter, he placed it on the table in front of her, fishing money out of his pocket to pay for his coffee. He stood up, slinging his duffel bag over his shoulder. At long last, she raised her eyes to meet him. He swore he saw the beginnings of tears forming.

"M," he began softly. "You're my best friend. Please."

At this, she took a deep breath and hesitantly touched the letter in a manner that gave Austin confirmation.

"I'll miss you," he stated simply, planting a brotherly kiss on the top of her dark hair. "Be safe."

When he turned away, he refused to look back. This was it. Period. And nothing was going to delay the inevitable any longer.


	2. Chapter 1

_1 Year and Some Months Later…_

"And don't forget - If you're out late walking around, make sure you bring your pepper spray. Or call a campus escort."

Both teenagers rolled their eyes good-naturedly. "I have it under control, Mom."

"All right." Mrs. Dawson took a deep breath and let it out in a loud gust.

"And be sure to call if money ever becomes tight," Mrs. Mercier added, affectionately smoothing down her daughter's cowlick. "I'll do what I can to help out."

" _Mo-om_ ," Kate whined. Her childish demeanor ironically contradicted the situation at hand. She stubbornly flattened her own hair. "We'll be fine!"

"Promise to call every weekend?" Mrs. Dawson requested. Ally was truthfully surprised at her mother's sudden concern.

"Yes," Ally droned.

"Okay, that's enough, ladies." Mr. Dawson picked up the rental car keys purposefully, attempting to make a statement about the time.

"One last hug," Mrs. Mercier decided, wrapping her daughter in a tight embrace. She let out a deep breath to steady her emotions as she pulled away. "I love you."

"I love you too, Mom," Kate replied, unable to resist the urge to smile.

"We need to leave now if we want to beat rush hour back to the airport," Mr. Dawson pressed.

"All right, we're ready," Mrs. Dawson responded as she and Mrs. Mercier retrieved their purses.

"Bye, girls. Good luck! Get good grades!"

"Bye, Mom," Kate said, mild irritation tainting her voice.

"Be safe," Mr. Dawson added to the growing list of demands. And with that, they were gone.

" _Finally_ ," Kate breathed, flopping lazily down onto the couch, kicking off her pumps.

Ally took a moment to appreciatively take in her surroundings. This was it: the proudest day of her life. Through dedication and hard work, she had earned every penny of her scholarship to the University of Michigan. And here she and Kate were, in their very own apartment.

Kate had enrolled in a local community college in the area, insisting that she couldn't bear the thought of Ally "braving the big city without her." Ally, well aware that this was Kate's way of saying "I'll miss you too much if you leave without me," was unbelievably thankful for the companionship. She had dreaded the day in which she would have to say good-bye to her life-long friends. And as much as she knew she would miss Chelsea and Mandy, (who were attending the Pennsylvania Academy for Fine Arts and University of Pittsburg, respectively), the notion of having Kate at her side was comforting.

"Ugh," Kate muttered to herself, thumbing through her planner. "Classes start on Thursday. How did that happen so fast?"

Ally rolled her eyes. "Do we need to go through this again, Kay?"

"I know, I know," Kate dismissed with a careless wave of her hand. " _Here for the education...not for the parties_." As she quoted Ally's mantra, she turned her nose up distastefully and tossed her planner across the living room frisbee-style.

"Kate," Ally began reproachfully, feeling a surge of mild panic at the planner's position on the otherwise spotless floor.

"Oh, relax," Kate groaned. "It's our first mess. Enjoy the moment."

Ally laughed bitterly, knowing that Kate was right. She would certainly have to lower her standards for perfection if she was going to survive. So what if there was a planner in the middle of the floor?

...Right?

"I'm going to take a shower," Ally announced. Moving all the furniture in the heat had negated this morning's washing, and she felt sweaty and disgusting.

"Have fun," Kate declared off-handedly, snatching the remote from the coffee table.

As Ally began making her way towards her bedroom, the ominous planner continued calling out to her, as if a demonic presence was haunting her. She paused beside it, considering.

"Ally, leave it be," Kate warned, as if Ally were a curious two-year old eyeing a hot stove.

She breathed in heavily. Nope. She couldn't force herself to walk away. She picked it up and set it on the coffee table, lining the corner perfectly with the table's surface.

"Oh, God," Kate groaned. "You're not going to make this easy, are you?"

Ally knew she was speaking in general about the experience as a whole: college, homework, house-cleaning. And she knew the answer.

"We'll just have to compromise," she said definitively. "I'm letting it sit on the coffee table, aren't I? If I wanted to, I could have put it back in your purse. Right?"

Kate rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Als." Her channel surfing had subsided as she decided on re-runs of _90210_. "Go shower."

"Right," Ally reminded herself, heading once again towards her room. Once inside, she quietly shut the door. She thought distantly about how this may affect Kate's feelings, but she knew she needed this moment of solitude and silence to soak in the transition.

Her eyes roamed the room, trying to convince her brain that this was her new home. It wasn't as though she wasn't excited to be on her own, but it was taking a certain effort to adjust. The bedroom, in truth, was perfect. Everything was set up according to Ally's intricate blue print, and all items were in their proper places.

All except the last box she had been hesitating to unpack. In scrawl that she remembered had been written with shaky hands was " _A.M._ " She knew what it stood for. And try as she might to dispose of the box before her latest big adventure, she had not been able to part with it. She hadn't looked inside in months for fear of emotional upheaval, but she knew she couldn't let it go.

She slowly approached the box on her bed, tucking hair behind her ears. The urge to explore its contents was overwhelming, though she knew in her heart that it had the potential to ruin this momentous day. She gingerly sat on the immaculately-made bed beside it, running her hands over the packaging tape that kept it sealed.

 _Don't do it_ , her inner voice reprimanded. _It's not the day._

 _Nonsense_ , the other voice insisted. _There's nothing wrong with keeping the memories alive._

She had grown weary of the angel-and-devil dichotomy that so often haunted her brain. It made her feel like she had so little control over her own decisions.

As if to silence both voices, she began lifting the tape away and opening the box.

Inside were photographs, gifts, and other reminders of her relationship with Austin Moon. One item in particular sat on the very top, as it was the most frequently referred-to memory. It was the letter he had written her before his departure. She remembered the day vividly. It was only about a month after Jenny's murder.

 _Rain was coming down in buckets. Ally hastily threw on her jacket and shoes, cursing herself for leaving her car windows down. Had she had the faintest idea of what the ever-changing forecast had in store, she never would have been so foolish. She had admittedly been distracted, though, as Austin had attempted to phone her as she was pulling into her driveway. With a bleeding heart, she had declined the call._

 _She yanked open the door to be met with a natural orchestra of pattering rain. Ducking out of the house into the ominously-darkening outside world, she splashed quickly through mud puddles and wet pavement to reach her vehicle. Thunder rumbled in the distance, as if reminding her that this should be done with haste._

 _She nearly slipped upon reaching her car, fumbling with the keys to unlock it._

 _"Ally!"_

 _She turned. Mandy was jogging over from across the street, donned appropriately in rain boots and a tasteful poncho. She appeared distraught._

 _"What is it? Are you okay?" Ally demanded immediately, fearing the worst for Mandy's military father._

 _Mandy stopped in front of her, blinking away raindrops from her dark eyelashes. She paused._

 _"Als..."_

 _Ally's heart was beginning to sink. She didn't like the tone of Mandy's voice, whatsoever._

 _"Ally, he's gone." As if on cue, another thunderous crack echoed in the woods._

 _"What? Is it your dad?" Ally asked worriedly._

 _Mandy paused once more as additional water droplets cascaded down her nose and chin._

 _"It's Austin."_

 _Ally's stomach flip-flopped violently on the inside. "Is he okay?" she demanded, trying to keep the panic out of her voice. As she waited for a response, Mandy was protectively passing a folded note into Ally's hands._

 _"He joined the army. He left a couple hours ago."_

 _Ally felt her mouth dry out._

 _"Can...can I still catch him?" she whispered, comforted in knowing that the involuntarily-flowing tears would intermingle with the raindrops on her face, undetected._

 _"No," Mandy murmured sadly, shaking her head. "He's gone."_

 _Ally's world turned on its belly, suddenly making her insides writhe in confusion. She distantly heard her phone chirp inside her jeans pocket. She yanked it out desperately, hoping subconsciously that it was him..._

 _"Who is it?" Mandy inquired._

 _Ally sighed dejectedly, handing the phone to Mandy, who read the message aloud._

 _"_ _ **When I told you to keep Austin safe, this wasn't exactly what I had in mind. But bravo, Ally! Always the over-achiever!**_ _"_

Ally tenderly fumbled with the letter, unsure of whether or not she wanted to unearth its contents yet again. The day that Austin left was ironically the last anonymous message she had ever received. She wasn't sure why, but had the distinct feeling that the anonymous individual was finally satisfied that they had officially ruined her life.

With a shaky sigh, she pushed the letter deep into the box, deciding that it was not the time to re-read it. With feigned confidence, she stood and made her way to her dresser, haphazardly yanking out fresh clothes.

It was time for that shower. It would serve several purposes, but none were so appealing to Ally as the symbolism of a fresh start.


	3. Chapter 2

The shower proved to be as refreshing as Ally had hoped. Upon getting out and re-styling her hair, she felt like a new woman, ready to brave the unknown.

When she emerged into the living room, she found Kate passed out on the couch from exhaustion. One of her arms hung limply over the side, the remote having fallen from her grasp and onto the floor.

Ally rolled her eyes good-naturedly and picked up the remote control, replacing it on the coffee table. As she did this, she found herself eyeing the planner suspiciously. _Compromise_ , she reminded herself, resisting the urge to put the planner away in Kate's purse.

Instead, to distract herself, she began pulling out her textbooks and spreading them across the dining room table. Might as well get a head start before classes commenced. Her Introductory Psychology book looked particularly inviting, so she opened to the first reading assignment of the semester according to the online syllabus.

It was a Freudian chapter.

She groaned inwardly, knowing just what kind of lessons it would entail. Defense mechanisms, such as denial and repression. Two words she was positively not interested in hearing right now. She slammed the heavy book shut with a definitive _THUMP_.

"Huh? What?" Kate cried out, shooting up into a sitting position on the couch. "Was that a gunshot?"

The corner of Ally's mouth turned upward in a half-smile. "Hardcover textbooks. Try taking a look at one someday."

"Ugh," Kate spat distastefully, stretching. "What's for dinner?"

"We still have to go grocery shopping," Ally replied, indicating the empty cupboards behind her.

"Yeah, screw that," Kate decided, waving a hand dismissively in Ally's direction. She seemed to consider this for a moment before her face lit up. "Let's go out! It's our first night on campus. We might as well look around a bit!"

Ally sighed. To be honest, she was exhausted. She would have been content to just order a pizza and call it a night. But Kate had neglected to await a response, and was already putting her pumps back onto her perfectly-pedicured feet.

"Where to?" she muttered in surrender.

"I dunno!" Kate chirped, suddenly wide-awake. She was shoving her keys and cell phone into her purse. "Let's go, c'mon!"

Ally, who had not moved from her position at the dining room table, exhaled heavily in frustration, piling her textbooks and standing.

"Are you wearing that?" Kate asked suspiciously, indicating Ally's simple jeans and flannel top.

"Yes, Kay," Ally declared strictly, her stomach suddenly rumbling at the prospect of food. "It's only dinner. I have no one to impress."

"That's what you think _now_ ," Kate chimed in a sing-song voice. "But we're about to meet college boys!"

"What about Marcus?" Ally questioned. Kate and Marcus had agreed to make the long-distance relationship work, promising to take turns visiting each other one weekend per month.

"I'm talking strictly about college boys for _you_ , of course," Kate corrected. "Are you at least going to put some make-up on?"

"No," Ally decided, grabbing her own cell phone and purse. "I'm starving. Let's just go."

They made their way out of the apartment and down the stairs of the vestibule. Once outside, Ally's exhaustion seemed to instantly subside. It was a beautiful evening. The heat had lessened considerably to a comfortable high-70s, making for much more enjoyable weather.

Kate was practically skipping, marveling at the hubbub of the busy town. Ally was truthfully impressed as well; she passed more people on the street in the first two minutes of their walk than Layton Bay even contained.

"Here it is," Kate declared triumphantly after a few more moments had passed. "South University."

"What?"

"South University Street," Kate elaborated. "Has some of the best bars in town."

She had really done her socialite research.

"Kate, we're not old enough," Ally said rationally.

Kate shot a devilish smirk in Ally's direction, her eyes sparkling wildly. "Au contraire." She fished into her purse and pulled out a small manila envelope. "First of all, the bars on campus pretty much let any students in. They like the business. But, in any case, Marcus made these for us before we left. As a going away present."

"Made what?" Ally asked suspiciously, stopping in her tracks. She heard hooting and hollering coming from a nearby frat house.

Kate was ripping the envelope open greedily. "These, Ms. Edwards."

"Ms. _what_?" Ally demanded, knowing exactly where this was going. Before she knew it, Kate had shoved a small piece of plastic into Ally's hands. She studied it carefully.

Just as she had suspected. A fake ID. Though, she had to admit, it looked completely legit. It even had her exact driver license photograph, seamlessly edited in. Marcus certainly knew his way around the system.

"Amber Edwards?" she said gruffly. "Do I strike you as an 'Amber'?"

"I don't know," Kate mused, slinging her blond hair over her shoulder. "Marcus made it, not me."

"And what's your new name?" Ally asked sarcastically, crossing her arms.

"Trisha Maybelline," Kate gushed.

"Maybelline? _Really_?"

She shrugged. "I got to pick my own."

"Jesus," Ally breathed, unable to tear her eyes away from the deceptive identification. "Kate, we'll never get away with this."

"Sure we will," Kate dismissed. "Have a little fun, Als. Take a walk on the wild side."

Ally sighed heavily. She had never been much of a risk taker. She knew, however, that Kate had spent years perfecting the art of deception. She had even gotten away with shoplifting from expensive, security-heavy department stores for an extended period of time.

Before she got caught, anyway.

"Are you sure?" Ally asked carefully.

"Positive. Now shut up and look 21," Kate stated strictly. She looked across the street. "Ah. There it is. Good Time Charley's."

Ally followed Kate's gaze to be met with the bright glow of the sign. Dozens of students had gathered at the tables on the patio, and through the front window she saw that even more were crowded inside.

"C'mon," Kate urged, beginning to skip over the cross-walk.

"I - I dunno," Ally continued to protest, following hesitantly behind.

"Fine," Kate said flippantly, stopping at the front doors with her hand resting on the handle. "Go home. Be a stick-in-the-mud. But I'm going in." With that, she had swung the door open and was gone before Ally could blink.

She stood there for a moment, weighing her options. She knew in her subconscious that she _should_ just go home...But Kate was trying her damnedest to make their first night as college students a memorable one. And Ally knew that without Kate, she may not allow herself to have _any_ fun.

She took a deep breath and walked in.

The music was deafening upon entrance. It was one of Kesha's songs, blasting through the stereos. Several people were dancing in a corner, making a sloppy mess of their alcoholic beverages. There were couples tucked into corner booths, affectionately cuddling and whispering sweet nothings. Ironically enough, there was also a table of Asian students who were actually studying.

"AMBER!"

It took Ally a moment to register that Kate was yelling for her. She turned and saw her broadly waving her arms from the bar. She politely squeezed through people to make her way over to her.

"Hey, _Trish_ ," Ally muttered purposefully, climbing onto the stool beside Kate. As she tried to decide where to set her purse, the bartender had returned with a Long Island.

"Here you are," he announced, placing it before Kate. "It's $6.50. Or would you like to start a tab?"

"A tab is fine," Kate decided, tossing a few dollars into a tip jar. "Can you get my friend here a - " she turned to Ally expectantly, "what did you say you wanted?"

Ally marveled at how effortless she made it look. Had Ally been the bartender, _she_ would have even been fooled by Kate's carefree facade. Being an infrequent drinker, she hadn't the faintest idea of what she wanted. She had mostly stolen sips from beer cans in her teenage years. She cleared her throat and hoped that her response would come out as confidently as Kate's.

"Sex on the beach," she murmured uncertainly.

"What?" the bartender yelled, leaning over the counter to hear her above the music.

"SEX ON THE BEACH," Ally practically screamed, then immediately felt the red flush rise in her cheeks.

"ID please."

Oh, right. Ally fished in her jeans pocket to recover her "present" from Marcus.

The bartender spent a moment looking it over and comparing the photograph to Ally's face. She crossed her legs and attempted to look as grown-up as possible. At long last, after what seemed like an eternity, he placed the ID in front of her.

"Coming right up, Amber."

As he walked away to fill her order, Ally released a heavy exhale, feeling as though she had been holding her breath that entire time.

"Relax," Kate pleaded. "We've got this. We're in."

Ally supposed she was right. The hardest part was over with: their IDs had been checked and verified. All that was left now was to roll with the punches.

"I still need to get something to eat," Ally insisted as the rumbling in her stomach returned.

"Later," Kate dismissed.

"All set!"

Ally turned. The bartender had returned with her drink.

"Put that on my tab," Kate stated.

"Sure thing," he agreed, and wandered away to assist other customers.

Ally eyed the beverage uncertainly.

"Well?" Kate pressed expectantly.

Ally sighed. She used the tiny black straw to stir it up a bit more and took a sip. The pineapple juice gave it a bitter taste, but truthfully, it was quite delicious.

Kate smiled. "Good?"

Ally nodded resignedly, hating that Kate had been right all night. They sat in silence for a few minutes, absorbing the atmosphere, quietly people-watching. Ally wondered how many of these students had also entered with fake IDs, and how many would end up being in her classes.

"I love this song!" Kate declared suddenly as Jennifer Lopez began to echo through the speakers. "C'mon! Let's dance!"

"But my drink..." Ally began.

"So finish it." With that, Kate downed the last couple sips of her Long Island and stood, clapping her hands together impatiently.

Ally referred to her own and was surprised to see that she, too, had absent-mindedly finished most of it. She took a deep breath and gulped down the remainder, listening satisfactorily to the gurgling sound the straw made in the empty glass. She slammed it down onto the bar definitively, as she had seen in the movies, fulfilling a secret curious fantasy.

"Let's go," she decided, feeling considerably looser than she had upon arriving. She stood up quickly, and immediately regretted it. The room tilted on its axis and she felt a warm tingling sensation travel from her head to her toes.

"You all right?" Kate asked with a small chuckle, watching as Ally wobbled a bit. "Feeling a little buzzed? You drank that pretty fast."

"Yeah, that's what I get for drinking on an empty stomach," Ally said uncertainly. "Walking is...different now."

Kate burst out into laughter, taking Ally's hand and beginning to drag her to the dance floor. They pushed through several people to get as close to the speakers as possible, for some god-forsaken reason that Kate had insisted upon. It was loud enough in the rest of the bar that Ally saw no need

to blow out her ear drums.

Once finding a spot that satisfied her, Kate released Ally's hand and began swaying her hips like a pro. Ally had never been much for dancing in public, but the liquid courage was certainly assisting her with that. The lights seemed to glow more intensely since her Sex on the Beach, and she found herself caring less about what others around her may think.

Kate grabbed Ally's hand again, goofily giving Ally an elaborate twirl. Ally laughed, inexplicably entertained by how her vision couldn't keep up with her body. It was as if her eyes were on a delayed timer, translating it to her brain seconds after her body had been there.

And then Kate let go. Ally attempted to stop, but the momentum combined with her jelly legs was enough to send her chaotically toward the nearest table. She clumsily fell into it, laughing hysterically as she did so. Somewhere deep down, she was surprised at the lack of embarrassment she felt.

"Sorry, sorry!" she cried, attempting to lift her body away from the interrupted conversation.

"Ally?"

She turned abruptly. Who here would know her real name, other than Kate?

And there he was. Sitting at the table she had just foolishly smashed into, with three other guys she didn't recognize. His bright blue eyes bore into her soul, as per usual, uncovering the hidden depths of her deepest secrets and ambitions.

For the first time in several months, she was face-to-face with Austin Moon.

 **A/N: So I hope you all like the fic so far :D**

 **5 reviews for next chapter? :D**

 **Let me know what you think in PM, Reviews or let me know on twitter absolutelyliv ! :D**

 **What is your favorite Auslly moment ?**


	4. Chapter 3

"Oh my God," she breathed, a flattering shade of pink having risen in her already-flushed cheeks.

Austin stared at her, hoping that he was doing a satisfactory job of keeping the longing in his heart separate from his facial expression. She was more beautiful than ever.

"I - I have to go," she muttered, turning away in panic.

"Ally, no - wait," Austin protested, standing hastily and taking hold of her arm. "Talk to me."

She looked from his grip on her arm up into his eyes. The chocolate color in their depths dazzled him and made his mouth go dry.

"I can't," she whispered, silently pleading with him to let her be. In resignation, he loosened his hand and disdainfully watched her walk away.

"Who was _that_?" Cody inquired appreciatively. "Nice ass..."

Austin shot him a warning glare, feeling his teeth clench together. "Don't talk about her like that."

"Whoa. Sorry dude," Cody replied, holding his hands up in mock surrender. "I got it. Ex-girlfriend."

"Something like that," Austin murmured. Somehow, he had never been able to quite process the prefix of 'ex' when it came to Ally. It had ended so abruptly, he hardly considered it a conventional break-up.

He turned to watch her hasten to Kate, both of whom were talking animatedly. Kate looked as though she was attempting to calm her down. And was failing miserably.

"What is it?" Holmes asked quietly.

"It's nothing," Austin insisted distantly. He still had not brought himself to resume his seat.

"C'mon, man. I've never seen you so bent out of shape," Lancaster pressed. "That girl's got you totally out of your zone."

"I just...haven't seen her in ages," Austin responded softly. "It didn't really end well."

"It never does, with girls like that," Cody added sardonically, sipping on his Budweiser.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Austin demanded.

"Relax, Moon," Cody urged. "I just mean she's a hell of a looker. And flattery don't come cheap, if you know what I'm saying."

Austin felt himself growing progressively angrier with Cody's insinuation of Ally being anything close to a slut. Had he not considered him a brother in arms, he would have certainly knocked him out.

"I know what you're saying," Austin began, "but you need to shut the fuck up."

"All right! All right!" Cody declared dismissively.

Holmes leapt from his seat and put a halting hand on Austin's chest, inserting himself between Austin and Cody. "C'mon man," he muttered in Austin's direction. "You know he's a tactless drunk. Ignore him."

Austin sighed and nodded. Holmes was the best friend he had made from the army. He always seemed to read him like an open novel.

He turned back to find that Ally and Kate had gone from their previous location. He desperately roved the bar with his eyes, afraid that if he lost sight of her it would be the last time he ever saw her. In truth, he didn't know what he was hoping to accomplish - she made it very clear that she had no interest in talking to him. But he had to hope...

He located them at long last, standing by the door. Ally had her hand on the knob, ready to make a quick get-away. She seemed to still be arguing with Kate.

Without thinking it adequately through, Austin found that his feet were leading him toward them.

When Ally saw him coming, she appeared as a deer in headlights.

"Ally..." he began again, once within range for her to hear him.

"Kate, let's go," Ally insisted, pushing the door open hastily and refusing to look back. Kate paused to give Austin a sympathetic glance, but began to follow her disappearing friend.

"Kate, wait," Austin pleaded, grabbing Kate's hand. She looked cautiously from this contact to his face, seemingly undergoing some version of an internal struggle.

"I should go to her," she reasoned.

"Just give me two minutes," Austin persisted. "For God's sake - TWO MINUTES. It's been almost two _years_ and I have yet to get any answers." He felt his blood boiling within his veins, realizing how angry the entire situation had made him.

Kate's face fell. He knew she felt guilty. But he didn't care. He surged on.

"Back when I left, Mandy told me that there were things I should know. She kept saying that Ally would change her mind if she knew my plans. At the time, I was so blind-sided by everything that I didn't care. But now..." He trailed off, unsure of how to articulate his current frustration.

Kate sighed dejectedly. "Austin, listen..." she began, looking over her shoulder nervously as if to ensure that Ally was not secretly eavesdropping. "There are things that she could never tell you."

"Like what?"

She shook her head. "It's not my place. I have to go." She turned again to exit.

"Kate..." Austin begged. His voice had cracked involuntarily.

She paused and considered him for a moment, chewing on her bottom lip. "Okay," she replied uncertainly. "You asked for it."

Austin listened intently, stepping closer to Kate to be sure he wouldn't miss a word of the explanation.

"She had to do it...to keep you safe." Kate exhaled heavily, as if saying this had lifted a giant weight from her shoulders.

"Safe?" Austin demanded. "What do you mean?"

She looked down at the floor, internal wheels visibly turning. "Someone was threatening her. They were going to hurt you, unless she stayed away."

His heart froze over like a Pennsylvania pond in December. He ran this information through his brain several times before responding.

"Who?" he demanded, though it came out as more of a statement than a question. When he found out, not even Holmes would be able to hold him back.

Kate shrugged. "We don't know. Honest."

"Tell me everything," Austin urged, high on the thrill of actually making headway to this long-exhausted mystery.

"I can't," she insisted. "I really can't."

Austin didn't push it. He knew that Kate had already crossed a dozen friendship boundaries to have this conversation with him. He didn't want to ask her to betray Ally any further.

She looked over her shoulder once more, as if checking for Ally again. She then took a hesitant step closer to him, so that her face was almost directly at his shoulder. Hope bubbled in his chest as he anxiously anticipated the next words from her mouth.

"We live in the apartment building at the corner of Willard and Hill," she said under her breath, ensuring that the information would go to his ears only. "It's a tan building with annuals planted out front. Apartment 2B."

He nodded, committing this information to memory.

She nodded too, then took a step back. That was it.

"Take care of yourself, Austin," she offered. And then she was gone.

* * *

Once inside the apartment, Ally kicked off her flip flops and tossed her purse carelessly. For once, she had no qualms about creating a mess. She was breathing more heavily than she had in months. She wasn't sure if it was due to the shock, the run home, or a combination of both.

She bee-lined to the bathroom door and slammed it shut, being sure to turn the lock. She was admittedly embarrassed for her behavior, but was more concerned about Kate asking more questions when she got home. Questions Ally did not want to answer.

She studied her face in the mirror, trying to piece together all that had just happened. It felt like a blur. An out-of-body experience. She had spent so long emotionally detaching from the memory of Austin, and there he was - sitting in the middle of the goddamn bar down the street. It was as if the heartbreak had started all over again. And the pain seared through her chest like an unbearable bout of cardiac arrest.

Still feeling on the verge of hyperventilation, she began carelessly stripping off her clothes. She didn't even pause to study her naked body in the mirror and critique her most-hated problem areas, as was typically somewhat of a morning ritual.

She turned the knob of the bath tub - best to turn the hot water all the way up, to ensure that the scalding would burn away the pain. Digging through bathroom cabinets, she found Kate's trusty shea bubble bath, and proceeded to pour a majority of it into the bath tub. She felt guilty for a brief moment, but rationalized with herself that she would replace it.

She climbed in and pulled the curtain shut, purposefully keeping out the light. With legs hugged protectively to her chest, she remembered the first time she had read Austin's good-bye letter. She had immediately resorted to this exact same familiar comfort.

 _Dearest Ally_ , it had read.

 _There are so many things I wish I could say. Promises I wish I could make - and the chance to show you that I can keep them._

 _I'll start off by telling you that I understand...understand that you didn't want to be with me. We were always some version of Beauty and the Beast. And it was bound to happen, someday, that you would see that you had potential that surpassed a relationship with me._

 _I know you said that this was about trust. I know that's part of it. But I also know that you're beautiful and bright, and you were scared of tying yourself to me and being held back._

 _I need you to know that you were, and always will be, the love of my life. You have taught me what it means to truly rely on another human being, and be able to completely trust someone else with your heart. I will forever value that lesson, most of all._

 _After basic training, I will not be returning to Layton Bay. There is nothing left for me there, and I hope you can understand that. But I also want you to know that should we ever meet again, in the near or far future, I will do absolutely everything in my power to win you back. If fate happens to put us in the same place, I will not ignore its cues again. I will fight for you, no matter what it takes._

 _I love you with all of my heart. Be safe...be happy._

 _Love, Austin._

Ally hadn't realized it, but recalling the letter from memory had caused her to begin crying. She felt her body wracking with disruptive sobs, and put a hand over her mouth to silence their cry.

"Ally?" Kate was knocking at the door. "Als, are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Ally called, using the only ounce of remaining strength to control her voice. She felt her face scrunch up once more, and put her balled fist back to her mouth, hoping to muffle any additional noise.

The tub was nearly full, but she was neither ready to get out nor to silence her background noise. She allowed it to drain and turned on the shower head. And there she sat, under the steady stream of water, crying until her throat was raw. It felt likened to an eternity. Her skin was burning, but that was just the way she liked it. It was symbolic to her.

Once she heard Kate's door shut for the night, she gathered her composure slowly made her way out of the shower.

She looked into the mirror once more, distastefully noticing that her eyes were pink and puffy from crying. It was a Dawson lesson, growing up, that you never revealed your tears to anyone. It was a sign of weakness. Had Kate still been up, she would have gone through the arduous process of re-applying her make up.

His face flashed in her mind once more. He had looked so beautiful...even with his hair at a short buzz, he still made her go weak in the knees. She owed him so much...but she didn't know how to tell him about any of it. He had vowed to win her back...but what if he didn't miss her the same way she missed him? It was foolish to even consider the possibility.

She pulled on a baggy t-shirt to sleep in and crept out of the hallway and into her room. Upon shutting the door, she exhaled heavily. How on earth was she supposed to sleep tonight?

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	5. Chapter 4

Ally was frozen. She couldn't bring herself to move, no matter how hard she tried. It was as though a cold bucket of ice water had been dumped over her head, tensing every one of her muscles.

"Can...Can I come in?" Austin asked quietly. She noticed that he had a paper grocery bag in one hand.

"Um...yeah, sure," she mumbled, finally willing her body to step aside.

He hesitantly stepped over the threshold, gazing around the apartment as he did so. "It looks nice in here," he stated simply.

"Thanks." She closed the door behind him, studying the back of his head. She suddenly felt self-conscious about her appearance - her hair was matted and she was still in her pajamas.

Desperately trying to smooth her tresses, she slowly followed him into the living room.

He stopped at the couch and considered her for a moment, as though awaiting her permission.

She cleared her throat and offered it. "Have a seat."

He did so, setting the mysterious paper bag on the floor beside him. Ally stood there for a moment, feeling foolish. She was rapidly attempting to decide where the most proper place was to sit. At last, she chose to curl up in the solitary arm chair.

They sat there in silence for a few moments, avoiding one another's eyes. Ally's heart was pounding in her chest as she tried to think of something valuable to say.

"How did you know where to find me?" she asked. So much for valuable.

Austin cleared his throat and smiled a little, crossing his arms across his chest and leaning back to make himself comfortable. "I have my ways."

"Kate," Ally declared. She had known before she asked.

"Don't be angry," he protested nervously. "I practically beat it out of her."

Another pregnant pause.

"What do you have in the bag?" Ally inquired.

He seemed momentarily confused, then followed her gaze. "Oh. That." He lifted it onto his lap and began rummaging inside. "Just a few things I thought you'd like."

Curiosity piqued, Ally leaned forward to observe. He unearthed a bottle of wine and a brand new edition of Scrabble, setting them both on the coffee table.

She smiled inwardly at the board game. She was still struggling to come up with something proper to say.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She mentally kicked herself. _What is this, the interrogation room?_

He seemed to mull this over for a minute before responding. "I missed you," he said simply.

"Oh."

Silence befell them once more.

"Would you like a drink?" he asked, gesturing to the wine.

Ally laughed nervously. "Isn't it a little early for that?"

"It's five o'clock somewhere," he quoted. Without awaiting a response, he had already fished into his bag of tricks to pull out two wine glasses and a corkscrew.

"You certainly went all-out," she observed.

"I figured, what with this being a new place and all..." he began. A loud _pop_! echoed through the room as he pulled out the cork. "...that you may not have all the essentials yet."

"Right."

He poured the wine and handed her a glass. She sipped on it hesitantly, as he swirled his own around.

"What are you doing in Michigan?" Ally continued.

He took a long sip of his wine before setting it down on a coaster. "My unit stationed me up here, in the area. I've been working a security job on campus for now, but I'd like to use my G.I. Bill soon to start taking some classes."

"What kind of classes?" Ally asked. Despite feeling like a young child with endless questions, she had to admit that continuing to talk was increasing her level of comfort.

"I'm not sure. Maybe some business courses...maybe some philosophy," he replied. He shrugged.

"I have a lot of interests to explore."

She nodded, taking another sip.

"How about you? What kind of classes are you taking?" he asked.

She cleared her throat. "I start on Thursday...just some gen eds for now. But I think I'd like to major in psychology."

His knowing smile made her appendages tingle. Or maybe it was the speed at which she was drinking her wine. Or both.

"I always figured you'd go into social sciences."

She smiled slightly, too. Another pause.

"So," Austin began seriously. "Are we ever going to address the elephant in the room?"

Ally laughed on the inside. She had never heard another person her age use that phrase.

"It's not so much an elephant anymore as it is it's own planet," she replied, making a feeble attempt to lighten the mood. He did not laugh. "I mean..." she started nervously, "what is there to talk about?"

"What happened before I left." It was a statement, not a question.

The tingling in her veins seemed to freeze over once more in fear. She had always dreaded this day, and had admittedly thought for some time that it would never come.

She dove in head first.

"There was...someone..." she began uncertainly, unsure of how to even unveil the mystery without sounding like a psychopath. "Someone who used to harass me and my friends."

"Who was it?" he asked. He was now leaning over his knees, intently listening.

She shook her head. "We never found out. But they were dangerous. They were the ones - or one - who killed Lucas."

Austin shook his head, confused. "I thought he killed himself?"

"No. It was a set-up."

She waited for this to sink in with him before continuing.

"Anyway...they had done terrible things. Nasty things. They threatened us...and that, I could handle. What I couldn't handle was them threatening you..."

Austin's gaze was unfaltering. He continued to stare into her eyes, his face impassive.

"When they threatened to hurt you...I knew I had to walk away." Though the story was concluded, Ally felt like there was still so much left to say.

He was quiet for a moment. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was scared," she rationalized, studying her wine glass. "I was scared that if I told you, you'd be hurt for sure."

"Als..." he began softly. "I could have taken care of myself."

"You don't know what this person.. or computer, or whatever was capable of," Ally protested, feeling irrational fear creeping into her voice. Though this anonymous had left her alone for months, she still trembled at the thought.

"Who was it?"

"They/it remained anonymous. It was some twisted homage to Jenny."

There was another moment of silence before she turned the tables on him.

"How come you never wrote to me? When you left for the army, I mean?"

He hesitated, wringing his hands together in his lap. "I didn't think you wanted to hear from me, so I let you go."

"I looked for a letter every day," Ally blurted before considering her words. Impulsivity had taken the bull by the horns. "I missed you...every day."

He studied her face, searching for any hidden meaning behind her words.

"When I saw you at the bar last night..." she began, feeling uncomfortable letting the silence settle for long periods of time, "all I could think about was the letter you wrote to me, before you left."

He nodded. "The one that said I'd fight for you."

She eyed him for a reaction. "Did you mean it?"

"Every word."

"Even now?"

"More than ever."

A period of time passed where they locked eye contact, each thinking desperately of what to say next.

"How about that Scrabble?" Austin finally proposed.

The hours wound on, each one progressively bringing more comfort than the one before. They sat on the floor on either side of the coffee table, each intently focusing on the competition at hand.

The bottle of wine was nearly empty, and Ally was basking in her success.

"Omnipotent," she announced. "That's 102 points."

Austin gaped at the game board. "Where on earth do you come up with these words?" he mused.

She simply smiled in response.

"Your turn."

He considered his letters for a moment, concentrating. Ally watched him, greedily taking in all of his beauty. She had missed the way his jaw squared when he was deep in thought, the way his eyes seemed to give off a different shade of brown when he was competing with her.

"Ah," he said at last, the proverbial light bulb going off in his head. He picked up a letter and reached over to place it on the board. En route, he bumped the glass of wine that Ally had foolishly left teetering on the edge of the table.

"Oh!" she cried in surprise as the red beverage splashed into her lap. She stood up quickly, studying the stain that was beginning to seep into her gray t-shirt.

"Oh God, I'm sorry," Austin began, leaping to his feet. "Where do you keep your towels?"

"It's fine," Ally laughed dismissively, enjoying the warmth that the wine in her bloodstream was providing. "I'll get it."

Austin hesitantly sat back down, watching as she slipped into her bedroom down the hall. She was rummaging through her drawers for something clean to wear. He began to quietly finish the word he had begun, but found his eyes flickering to her room occasionally. She was setting a fresh shirt on the bed, mopping up as much of the mess on her stomach as she could with a hand towel. He studied her intently, feeling a balloon of guilt in his chest as he did so.

Suddenly, she pulled the wet t-shirt over her head, her back to him as she did so. He felt his mouth go dry as he appreciatively gazed at the curvature of her back. Her porcelain skin glowed in all the right places, her shoulder blades shifting as she lowered the new shirt over her head. She had always been so beautiful...

She began to turn. Embarrassed, Austin quickly averted his eyes to the game, feeling perverted. So what if she had accidentally left the door open? That was not an open invitation to look.

"Back," she stated as she immediately began attending to the mess on the carpet with the same hand towel she had wiped her shirt with. Austin watched, feeling utterly useless.

"Here, let me help..." he began, leaning forward to take the towel from her grasp. As he did, his fingers mistakenly brushed hers, and electricity coursed through them both. He stopped to look at her, wondering if she was experiencing the same magnetism as he. He found that her eyes were trained on him as well, their hands still touching, faces precariously close.

"Austin..." she began quietly.

"Hmm?" he responded, hardly audible.

"Would you really fight for me?" she murmured, searching his face desperately for an answer.

"Until the day I die."

She smiled nervously, twisting her fingers more tightly around his. "Austin..."

"Shh," he murmured, using his free hand to cup her cheek. She leaned into his touch, her eyes filled with confusion. He slowly craned his neck inward, planting a tentative kiss on the tip of her nose. Her eyelids fluttered as he did so. He began a pattern, placing another on her forehead, then gingerly brushing his lips down to her cheek. He was dangerously close to her mouth; he could feel her warm breath on his face, and could smell the bitter wine on her tongue.

He paused to study her reaction, silently asking permission to take the next step. he saw the passion burning deep within her eyes, an internal struggle taking place.

"I love you," he murmured. "I always have."

She blinked several times, as if nervously trying to choose her response.

"I love you, too," she said at last.

What happened next was a blur. It was not Austin this time, but Ally, who initiated the next move. She had quickly lunged toward him, trapping his lips with her own. There was a desperate desire in her embrace that Austin had never witnessed in her before. She pulled him closer to her, practically sitting in his lap, greedily nibbling on his lower lip and using her tongue to explore his mouth.

He felt his heart beating wildly in his chest, his skin burning in a way that only Ally was able to command. He plunged his hands into her hair, using this leverage to pull her face closer. She moaned softly into his mouth, fumbling beneath his t-shirt to caress his abdomen. Her fingertips left a powerful tingle in their wake.

She pulled back enough to begin yanking his shirt over his head. As she did so, she chewed her bottom lip seductively in such a way that Austin knew it would be nearly impossible for him to back track now. She threw it carelessly toward the couch, pulling herself into his lap so that she was straddling his hips. He trembled in slight, lowering his lips into the crook of her neck and planting kisses down to her shoulder. She sighed happily, pulling back so that she could remove one of her own articles of clothing. The new shirt that she had put on less than five minutes ago was now somewhere toward the kitchen.

Austin marveled at her body, softly tracing the shape of her curves with his fingertips. She caressed his cheek as he did so, gazing at him expectantly.

"I don't think we should..." he began, concerned for what the aftermath of such a fast-paced reunion would entail for both of them emotionally.

She paused, considering his face. She brushed her thumb across his soft lips.

"Don't you want to?" she asked self-consciously, out of breath.

Austin laughed bitterly. "More than you can imagine." He paused, studying her face. "Do you?"

She nodded. "Make love to me."

Austin's heart skipped a beat. He began to stand up, holding both of her legs around his hips as he did so. They never broke eye contact as he carefully carried her back toward her bedroom, kicking the door shut behind them.


End file.
